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22 October, 2021

NEW NILFRUITS SONG!!!!! AND IT'S HALLOWEEN-Y!!!!!!! the first time i heard it, i looped it for hours and hours and ahhh it's so good. it's so fun to listen to while walking or when i'm on the train. my favourite part is the post-chorus where it goes "ah, i'm sick of everything, i'm gonna be done with everything suddenly..." IT'S JUST SO CATCHY! I CAN'T GET OVER IT!!!

literally i listen to the entire song, vibrating as i wait for it to get to my favourite part. such a shame that it only comes in twice and there's lots of time in between, but that's okay. the composition is really great and i genuinely enjoy the whole thing.

there's also a new syudou song, apparently a sequel to "Lonely Religion." this one is even better honestly and i'm totally in love with how chaotic it sounds. i noticed a lot of (english-speaking) comments on Youtube describing it as a "calm" song...?? which doesn't make any sense to me at all. it's manic as hell. certainly not as manic as it gets in the vocaloid/utaite genre, but i don't hear anything calm about it at all.

i noticed that lately syudou is doing the vocals himself rather than using vocaloid. power to him, i suppose, since he has an interesting voice and intonation. compared to the polite singing of hatsune miku or kafu or whoever, he certainly makes the lyrics sound appropriately vulgar.

the toy-piano sounding synth always makes me miss playing the piano. it's my favourite instrument and i've wanted to learn it since i was a child, but i have very small hands and that made it really difficult to play properly— which then made me feel bad about playing at all. everyone kept telling me to suck it up, basically, and i thought i was doomed to never do well on the piano. but recently i learned while reading Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men that there are keyboards created with tiny-handed people in mind. maybe one day i'll be able to get one!

that was a bit of a tangent, but i'm glad i have it written down somewhere. maybe in twenty years my future self will be reading this diary and think "wait, i'm a grown up with disposable income! i'm going to buy myself a keyboard and accomplish my life's dream!" ahaha, we can only hope.

20 September, 2021

it seems i listen to GRANRODEO when i'm stressed. not because it makes me feel like an anime character, but because the electric guitars slam so hard that i can't think.

10 August, 2021

well first of all, a couple nights ago, i listened to the new Billie Eilish album in full. it's okay i guess— certainly a departure from her earlier sound. i find the songs a lot less musically interesting than the ones on, say, When We All Fall Asleep, but that doesn't mean they're bad. just a little boring.

that said, i must have made an exception for the titular song "Happier Than Ever," because the first night i heard it, i looped it for like four hours. i couldn't sleep because i had to listen to it more. can you believe it? a mediocre Billie Eilish power ballad kept me awake until Twelve begged me to come sleep. at the same time that i feel sorry for myself, i still really like it, haha.

in other news, i'm on a massive nostalgia trip listening to Ben Folds again. i swear, he was the majority of my library when i was 12. back then, i had his entire discography— both his solo career and the earlier band, Ben Folds Five— plus the live albums, and even an audiobook/interview for some reason???

those files followed me across a few computers and several hard wipes. i'm not sure when exactly i lost them entirely, but i desperately want them all back now! ah, i still remember the torrent i got it from... too bad it stalls right away, these days. but that's to be expected, considering nearly a decade has passed. my God.

to further reinforce how old i feel, here are some fun memories from my childhood:

  • hiding his song "Bastard" from my mom by changing the name in iTunes to "Basting Stitch," lest i be reprimanded for the swear word in my library
  • laying my head on my school desk, earbuds snaked up the back of my jacket and hidden by my hair, and just blasting Sound of the Life of the Mind.
  • the pure delight of realising my favourite artist had an insert song in Over the Hedge, a movie that both me and my brother had enjoyed as children
  • incorporating Ben Folds lyrics into my Homestuck roleplays wherever possible
  • laying in bed with Rockin' the Suburbs and enjoying a wonderful moment of privacy. many nights, i fell asleep listening to "Not the Same"
  • and, much more recently, learning to play "Fred Jones, pt. 2" and absolutely killing it. unfortunately, my singing is rusty and my fretting hand lost its calluses, so i won't be back at that for quite some time...

28 July, 2021

i'm obsessed with this song. all year, youtube has been recommending it to me, but only recently did i bite the bullet and give it a listen. it's soooo catchy!!! and good!!!! i swear, i must have looped it for at least three hours straight. i don't really care about BEASTARS— it was weird and boring, ngl— but i can't deny that both seasons' opening themes are absolute fire.

maybe i like it so much because the lyrics make me think of Soukoku...

11 July, 2021

coding one handed because 12 is sleeping next to me and it would be criminal to remove my hand from her back. she's so warm... and drooling on me...?! anyways, i'm listening to kafu stuff! apparently, she is a voicebank software with built-in artificial intelligence designed to mimic human singing. i like that she sounds so emotionally charged but still digital— like the best tuned vocaloid in the world. such cool software! up top are some tracks that feature her vocals.

of course, the success of the song depends on the composer's abilities, too. as always, nilfruits does not disappoint. "night rule" has been out for quite some time. if i remember correctly, that was one of kafu's debut songs! they couldn't have chosen a better producer to show her off, hehe.

the others are really good too though. i think hachiya nanashi's "foolish fool" is one of my new favourite songs. to be honest, i'm not too hot on his music. before this, "happy shape" and "placebo" were the only ones i really enjoyed. that said, i guess "dizzy dizzy" was good enough to end up in my iTunes library too, though i rarely listen to it! seeing as "foolish fool" is his newest release, perhaps his future works will be more to my taste. i'm very excited to find out!

as for producers who are new to me, i'm really digging yunosuke's "hana to nare." i love how unapologetically r&b it sounds! it reminds me of ○○○'s work in some ways, especially the part in the chorus with a sort of bell or chime-sounding instrument going down the scale. God, i wonder what instrument that is? after a couple listens, it seems to be some kind of synth... regardless, i think i will loop it as i finish up coding the page.

press pause?