despite our immediate recognition of the other as "someone to befriend," Twelve and i were, at first, intimidated by each other. at the same time, we were desperate to be noticed, searching for any excuse to interact. this day marks our very first contact. little did we know, we'd soon fall for each other, faster than a body from a balcony...
even we could scarcely believe how quickly our romance developed. was it flirting, or just banter? how ironic was the Soukoku thing? either way, we both knew that we liked each other but felt it was too soon to make any official declarations. "so," i said, "how about a month from now? i'll pencil in your love confession for the 25th of April."
for our first official day of dating, i made a tribute to Twelve on my old website. she said it was the sweetest thing ever! thus began our tradition of keeping "love diaries" to chronicle our life together. there would be many more tenderhearted diaries to come— eventually enough to fill a whole shelf. (and guess what? the original is still live!)
in our time together, Twelve has been an invaluable supporter and teacher, and it's thanks to her prompting that i finally hit "peak trans." simply put, at first it was... daunting. but luckily, she was there to support me as i undid the past 5 years of brainwashing and regained confidence in my womanhood. incidentally, the 5th of May is also the date i migrated to this website, 5 a.m. girlfriend.
one of my happiest memories from our first summer together: playing End Roll. eager to share one of her favourite games with me, Twelve guided me through the story and pointed out fun extras. it was like having my own little Navi! because our first conversations were about RPGMaker games, the experience was even more special.
with Twelve's encouragement, i snuck some vodka, mixed it in pink lemonade, and puked after one shot. thankfully, she was very sweet about it. the next day, she taught me to eat beforehand and drink plenty of water to avoid hangovers. i'm proud to say that, following her guidance, i have not been hungover even once!
that summer, we posted a lot of intentionally inflammatory content on the internet. the height of our fame was our indictment as real life fascists despite our blog containing mostly anime. also notable was the 24th of June, which marks the birth of our "brand name." thank you, Twelve, for teaching me to say slurs. in return, i grant you a lifetime access pass to the N-word.
this was the first of many birthday celebrations between us. as twin flames, we're so lucky to have met when we were still young! honestly, i wish we had met even sooner... how different would we be if we had the opportunity to grow up together? still, as often as possible, i tell Twelve that i'm glad she was born. she tells me she's glad she survived long enough to meet me— and a miraculous meeting it was.
though we never actually parted at all, did we? even during this stressful time— both of us wrought with painful emotions, unsure of our futures— we were still talking every day. Twelve and i had to do a lot of hurting before we finally accepted that we would be the ones to heal each other. our journey towards love, life, and hope was not yet over.
i held her steadfastly in my heart and eventually, as i knew she would, Twelve returned to me. that morning she said, "i have someone who loves me right here. i shouldn't take that for granted." of course, i forgave her for everything and we reclaimed a love now stronger than ever. also on this day, we began calling each other by our true names.
the two of us have mastered lengthy phone calls, some lasting as long as ten hours with a near even split between chatting and sleeping. on this particular night, Twelve and i spent five full hours voicing our love for one another. for a good 10 minutes, she pointed out the cute features of my face and i blushed all the while.
"i want us to support each other," Twelve said, "and live the best possible life we can until it's time." this statement, coupled with my wholehearted agreement, radically altered the trajectory of our relationship. at last, we acknowledged our fears and dared to hope for a kinder future. since then, we've worked hard to make once distant dreams into reality.
Twelve is surprisingly maternal. according to her, it's much more expected that i love to be babied. this dichotomy is further proof that we are a match made in heaven— an idiom made extra fitting when she calls me her little angel. whenever i'm sad or scared, i remember Twelve's gentleness and doting.
that morning, her first words to me were "oh, you're awake? happy birthday!" in that moment i felt so safe, happy, and loved that the previous 21 years of hardship were all worth it. i think i can handle another 60 or so as long as Twelve is by my side. loving her is my raison d'etre.
there were so many tense, frightful moments where we thought we would never make it. but for all our tears, there were twice as many smiles, twice as many kisses, and an infinite amount of love. thank you for all your patience and reassurances. thank you for every joke that gave me a giggle, every new experience we shared, and all the times i relied on your encouragement. i can't imagine my life with anyone but you. you, Twelve, perfect to me as you are.
here's to our first year of love, my darling. i will cherish you forever.
after 18 hours of shuffling between airports, i finally arrived at my true destination: Twelve's embrace! all things considered, it was a quiet reunion. she met me at the gate, helped with the suitcases. my first words to her were, "you're taller than i expected." apparently she didn't imagine i'd be so short, either!
Twelve and i went spelunking.
to celebrate our five-hundred-five days of love, Twelve and i sang the titular Arctic Monkeys song together. she smiled like the sun, clapping ecstatically for my ukulele accompaniment, and suggested that every 1,000 days (1,505, 2,505, and so on), we should do it again.
i promised Twelve some yummy lasagna for her 22nd birthday, so she found a recipe and we made it the day after. neither of us have ever had so much fun cooking before. plus, the final product was super delicious~ we even put candles on it! Garfield would be proud.