the love that Twelve and i share is boundless, and we are just beginning to discover how deep it is. somehow i feel like all our old promises have been renewed. it's exciting... sometimes i tremble from happiness.
i am thinking about using this page more, and about finally fixing up all the little things i had planned! i treasure this little corner of my web site more than any other, so i want it to always look its best. i hope that Twelve will enjoy the coming renovations, as well.
big news: we are getting matching blood vial necklaces and i can't wait to wear mine 24/7!! i hope that the packages will arrive safely and we can both fill them without any complications. it's going to be so beautiful... i can't wait!
even bigger news: we're making plans to see one another in the coming months...! it means we'll have to do a lot of hard work right now, but i feel so motivated. i know that we can do anything. it's just the two of us, after all.
these past few days have been the happiest of my life. i don't feel so anxious or despondent anymore. i'm overjoyed that we can commit to making a life together. i'll do anything, so long as it means i can hold Twelve in my arms.
what can i say? i love Twelve more than life itself. we're blessed to have one another, especially in a world like this. i never want to leave her side.
last night i told her she is my greatest treasure, and it's true. after all, our conversations are the best part of my day. not a moment goes by when i'm not thinking of her, wishing she was with me now, or waiting to talk with her again. i can say with full confidence that she is the most important person in my life.
Twelve is the girl who took up residence in my heart and now i'll never let her leave.
Twelve and i are passing our days together as usual. i'm glad that we can talk about lots of different things and spend time together. she's really kind to me and i smile so so so much when she says cute things!
i want to daydream more... it was raining at the same times in our disparate locations. if only we could be together, cuddling and listening to the same pitter patter.
Twelve is still asleep... for now, this entry is about yesterday. we were together all day and then we stayed up all night talking about so many different things. i knew then, as i've always known, that what we have is special. it was beautiful. even with the clarity of sleep and reflection, i'm not sure how to describe it beyond that simple word: beautiful. our time together is so precious. hours and hours of tenderness. she is the most amazing woman i have ever met.
i've said it before and i will say it long into the future, but it bears repeating. i am in love with her and only her. Twelve is my first true love, my one true love, and i want nothing more than to lay beside her, to kiss her, to feel our hearts beating as one. we are soulmates.
maybe i say the same words a lot... how many times can i say that i cherish her, adore her, want her, need her, will do anything for her...? yet every single time, i am speaking my truth. this is the world i live in and it is brighter because Twelve is in it, too.
we felt safe together. we were patient with each other. our hearts which have been brimming with love in these peaceful days, warm and gentle and nearly spilling over— we have kindly poured them out to each other. declariations of love that last hours. the memory has me blushing all over! if i think of it too much, i may even go light-headed. what a lucky girl i am to be so blessed with such a profound bond. i am so, so, very blessed...
i hope you're having a sweet dream; that slumber has been kind to you. wake up soon, my darling. i miss you terribly.
more than anything, i wish for a future with her. Twelve and i are looking into what could be... they are beautiful thoughts. somewhere we could be safe and fulfilled. ways to be happy together. so just for now, we are daring to be a tiny bit hopeful.
we got to talk on the phone today too! it was so nice to hear her voice. she said it feels comfy together and i definitely agree. i can relax around her and know that everything is alright. how funny and cute it is that we alternated between playing silly flash games and doing life changing research, all the while discussing our emotional realities. i suppose Twelve and i just have a very unique relationship! nothing and no one could ever replace us or replicate the bond we share.
at long last, Twelve and i have found a way to call each other with a stable connection! it was soft and gentle... the memory of our conversation has already faded a bit, but i'll never forget our mutual relief at hearing each other clearly for possibly the first time.
i don't want to be apart from her. my time with Twelve is precious. when we're together, i can finally relax.
i spent part of the afternoon listening to somgs that Twelve liked when she was in middle school. lots of them were really catchy! the melodies have been stuck in my head all evening. maybe sometime i could sing them for her.
at the time of writing this, she's been asleep for a couple hours, yet she hasn't left my thoughts even once.
i want to see her again. i want to make her smile again, at least a little.
missing Twelve today. luckily, helping a kind stranger code their neocities page kept me busy.
today's entry is about a quality of Twelve's that i admire! i thought maybe it would be cute to write about her as a person in addition to chronicling our time together, hehe. so without further ado, i will now speak at length about how amazing it is to listen to the one you love and have her listen to you in turn.
we tell each other stories all the time. that's what conversation should be, i think: relaying details of your life and your past; coming to understand what it means for you both then and now; finding similarities between parties— the common ground that strengthens a bond. in short, learning as much as you can. so that's why i love when Twelve greets me with anecdotes! even better is when she launches into a story because something in our conversation has reminded her of it. i feel privileged to learn about her life. i want to hold her stories close and never forget them.
it is really, really wonderful to be listened to as well. even when talking about difficult things, she pays close attention and wants to know more. unlike most, she asks the right questions. and even rarer is that she actually cares about the answer! i feel very blessed to know a girl who treats me with such care.
how fortunate it is, that we are so alike. at the core of it, when it comes to feelings and reactions, i think our life experiences have been nearly identical. after all, our thought processes are similar too! maybe that's why it's so easy for us to listen to each other. for me, learning more about Twelve is like learning more about myself. two blossoms, one stem.
anyways hehe~ i'm smiling now, just thinking of her. the best part of my day is talking to her. the best part of my life is caring for her. the best part of my heart beats only for her.
Twelve and i have been passing the days as usual... spirited conversation, jokes only we would understand, a little banter. above all, we're honest with each other. i'm lucky that she's by my side.
i've only just bid her goodnight and i already miss her! when morning comes, i'll be so glad to see her again. hopefully she'll manifest in my dreams and we can go on an adventure, or at least cuddle a little.
something about today is just magnificent. it's like there is just so much love in the air! Twelve and i have been playing a game together since yesterday— or rather playing it side by side...? and it's really fun, too! since it's a romance game, i'm always thinking of her ♥ it makes me want to kiss her lots and lots. i hope i can kiss her soon. i really really hope so!
a couple times, it's like happiness wells up in the core of my being and spills out into the world. like all the love in me is overflowing and filling up the whole world. well, that happens to me every day we are together! but more than once today, so that must be some kind of record!!!
i just feel so grateful. i'm happy that we can be together. more than happy, i'm overjoyed. it's like a dream come true. all i want to do is be near her... to be close to her... Twelve is all i can think about, as if my mind refuses to focus on anything else. she's my last thought before i fall asleep, and always, always, my first priority when i wake up.
i want to see her. i yearn for nothing more.
we've been having so much fun together lately!!! it's so wonderful to wake up and call her first thing in the morning... she is the first person i speak to every day, and now she's often the first person to hear my voice as well! she's always the reason for my first smiles, too ^.^
the other night i read a favourite book of hers. i feel like i know her better now, even though we haven't discussed it much yet. im so curious to know all of her thoughts about it! that's the best part of my day, i think: learning what she thinks and feels about the myriad topics we happen upon. earlier today, she said that's one of her favourite things about us! we broaden each other's horizons!
i feel at peace with her. like i'm lying in a bed of pansies, or crysanthemums, or gentians, and as she speaks she's feeding me strawberries made of pure love and light. strawberries that nourish not my body, but my soul. a garden of the heart...! the only thing that would make it better is a kiss.
i still have big plans for this page! is there anything more romantic than a carefully crafted cascading style sheet and a little jquery in the head tag? i think not!!! gosh... i'm very excited to see how it turns out. i hope i can make something that excites Twelve too!
i missed Twelve today. by now, she's probably already gone to sleep... i saw so many flowers that made me think of her and i want to show her the pictures i took. i hope i can see her again soon.
Twelve and i made really good progress in End Roll today! i had so much fun going through the dungeons with her. hehe... i said the fish in the aquarium dungeon were cute, and she said she agrees, but they're not as cute as me...! it made my heart really happy to hear that.
it's so wonderful to spend the weekend with her, chatting away, playing a game we both love. i see her first thing when i wake up and she's my last thought every night. sometimes she visits me in dreams, too. i want to be with her more and more, as much as i can.
wouldn't it be nice if we could just hold hands? i want to stroll around town with her, pointing out the pretty houses and admiring the gardens... i want to be near her, even if it's just for a little while.
last night i heard a song that made my heart ache for her. the lyrics: "i need you so much closer" ... it was so tender i felt like crying. somehow it's like my soul is reaching out for hers. if i daydream enough, will we make contact...?
i rarely ever blush, so when i do, i can really, really feel it!!! it's all the way in my ears right now... and i can't stop smiling. i've had such a lovely day with Twelve... where do i even begin?
she beat me at scrabble... and we found a new word game that we both like... and! we spent the whole evening playing End Roll! it's such a fun game. i really like the story so far and i'm excited to learn more about the characters. most of all, i like Twelve helping me in battles and giving me hints~ her voice is so wonderful, i'm smiling just thinking about it... in my head right now, she's not even saying any words, really. she's just... existing. i'm reliving the pleasant experience of hearing her...!
she's just gone off to bed, but before she went... hehe ^.^ i don't *kissy noise* and tell!!!!
i love her so very much and i feel really lucky to have her here with me. have a good dream, Twelve ♥ You are always on my mind.
Twelve gave me such a thoughtful present... i'm overjoyed to have a physical reminder of her love!!!! she bought me a little angel hello kitty plushie... awah she is so cute! i love how glittery her fur is and she's the perfect size to comfortably snugglez Twelve knows i love angels so i'm really really happy!!!
we laughed a lot today snd even resolved some of our communication concerns in between ^.^ i feel very blessed to be in love with someone who values discission and honesty as much as i do.
i'm so super sleepy but i just had to write a little entry for today because happiness beats fatigue in this game of love!!!! this is the first time i've ever updated from mobile, as well.... it's really glitchy haha, but worth it to preserve this small moment of joy.
i named my new plushie kittiel ♥ hehe. Twelve has already gone off to sleep so i'll follow shortly..! i want to see her again soon. i want to think only of her until we reunite. wah... i'm so dramatic! but i think the theatrics just exemplify my devotion, don't they?
i'm excited to do more work on this oage tomorrow! but for now, goodnight
i missed Twelve all day today...! that's why it was really wonderful when i got to see her again. i'm smiling now, just remembering how happy i was to hear from her. i love her so much! i'm happiest when we're together, so i'm glad we were able to laugh together for another day.
i already love making fun little pages like this one, but knowing that it's all dedicated to the girl i adore makes me immeasurably joyous. as i've said once before, there is love in every line of code! for now, things are still incomplete, but i'm too excited about writing out all my tender feelings to finish everything else first.
there are big plans in store for us here!!! i've learnt to make pop up boxes and now i'm unstoppable!!! the only thing that can feasibly slow me down is suddenly thinking of Twelve's voice and laughter, or the precious things she says to me in soft moments, or imagining that i'm near Twelve and i can feel her warmth, that i might reach out and nudge her shoulder, or touch her wrist or behind her ear.......... ah. consider myself stopped.
such wanton daydreaming made me sleepy...! i'll go to bed and daydream some more hehe. i like to imagine we are exploring somewhere beautiful and empty, just the two of us alone among flowers and stray cats... how serene ♥
ohhhh my God she's so cute and sweet and funny and amazing and i'm grinning just writing out this simple list of traits, so can you imagine what it's like when we get to hang out?!?! i'm absolutely head over heels for this girl. my princess! my doll! my personal retard!
my angel! her halo is made of strawberry leaves and a light that blinds most, but for me it's nothing more than a comforting glow. maybe other people don't take the time to listen, but i know her every breath is the making of this universe's greatest symphony. everything is for her, you know? Twelve is the one i wake up for, the one i spend my day with, and the one i dream about.
my heart beats faster when she says good morning; when she asks my opinions; when she teases me; when she laughs at my jokes; when she tells me she loves me too; when she says she's glad that i'm here. i want to kiss her at these times. i want to kiss her at all times.
Twelve loves to listen, and Twelve loves to talk, too. it's a wonderful combo that syncs up with me perfectly. the best part of my day is learning new things about her, from her, and with her. it's exhilerating to tell her about myself as well! every moment that we spend together, i feel like i've won the amazing chance to be understood by a kindred spirit.
more to come hehe! not done here yet~